Better Sex Collective

Beyond the Kink, What Makes it “Click”

The Experimentalist is never truly over…

Instead, as you learn of yourself and your partner your interests in particular kinks and "how" you want to partake in them becomes more refined with time. Even when you begin to branch into unknown territories of pleasure you know exactly where to stimulate your desires for the fullest experience.

Remember Kink is Creative

That being said for all my new kinksters out there. Kink is far more creative and innovative about what you can experience than you had previously thought.

Choking, Gagging, or Asphyxiation? Breath Play
Knives? Sharps Play
Piss kink? Water sports
There's also wax play, food play, and plenty more

There’s a more general name that encompasses the more nuanced experiences within the kink you may be curious about. But why would you care about being general if you're looking for something specific?

Because it's better to understand that there are multiple ways to enjoy an experience than to believe to be trapped by only one. Especially if something were to occur where that experience is no longer accessible to you in that particular way.

Water Sports

Not the swimming and surfing kind, the "Golden Shower" kind.

Water sports, the kink version, has been slowly increasing in popularity as squirting has become a more popular topic. The terms involved can be defined as

Water sports - kink where a person is attracted to just the act of peeing. Even more specifically the act of being peed on or peeing on someone else
Omorashi - originating from Japan, a fetish where a person becomes aroused from having a full bladder/wetting themselves, or from seeing someone else have a full bladder or wet themself
Squirt(ing) - the ejaculation of a liquid other than urine from the vulva's urethra during an orgasm

Now squirting is more of a liner, but it can still fit into water sports depending on what you enjoy! But otherwise, water sports is predominantly for activities involving pee and therefor you should plan ahead for all your environments to get wet and messy.

Black square shower head misting yellow water with a teal green subway tile background

Water Sports Continued

Why or how can someone be into this?

Honestly, not everyone has the exact same reason for being aroused by this type of kink. For some, it's the general Dominant and Submissive aspects of it - having control or being controlled for something as primal as having to pee. For others it can be the humiliation aspect of being peed on, being forced to pee yourself, even "wetting the bed". Some may even just enjoy the idea of literally being covered in their partners fluids. People may discover they are into water sports in the most uncanny ways.

Remember

This is still a sharing of fluids. Ensure there are no open wounds that could be infected.

Preparation

Considering this is water sports, prepare for everything beneath you and your partner to get wet. This is why some people will opt to enjoy this kink in rooms with easy-to-clean flooring like a bathroom. Otherwise some good investment items would be: waterproof mattress protector, liquid absorbent blankets, even a pack of pee absorbent pads.

Drink lots of water at least 1 hr beforehand to ensure you're hydrated. Establish your safewords. Be ready to have fun.

Clean Up

If you planned ahead where you wanted to have fun, clean up should be easy! If you didn't, grab some towels to provide you and your partner a dry area to rest, and once you're rested... it's time to clean!

The Controversy of "Cnc"

What is it? An Advanced Level Kink.

CNC stands for Consensual Non-Consent and can reference a plethora of different activities, including but not limited to:

Sex, while one of you is intoxicated
Rape fantasies/role play
Power play
and more!

It's essentially any time you devise a game/experience that you're pretending you don't want something to happen but you and your partner(s) both know that you do want it to happen. This section will be written with the help of Super Freaks by Arielle Greenberg.

What it is NOT.

"A pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship." - Which is the definition of Domestic Violence

It is not the loss of personal agency for anyone involved. If at any point you or your partner(s) are uncomfortable continuing with the role play or fantasies you all maintain your boundaries to communicate how you're feeling throughout the experience and to continue or end the experience as needed.

This is why CNC is an advanced kink, it's best enjoyed among people who are going to actively communicate and negotiate with each other rather than people who are still learning and testing their limits of negotiation.

Why Do People Like CNC

Public and Social life is all about keeping your composure and being decent, upstanding citizens. However, what if your partner was just so overcome with their desire for you that they had to have you right there, no matter the time or place?

Or what if you've wanted to experience being helpless to the pleasures of someone but only in a safe, warm, and welcoming environment?

There's plenty of different internalized fantasies people may never discuss to anyone about why they engage in or enjoy these behaviors but they tend to align with feeling desired, feeling in control of their circumstance with their chosen partners, and overall engaging in a negotiated fantasy experience like other healthy adults.

FETISH FETISH FETISH

The Love of Being Super Freaky

Please don't misinterpret the name, it is actually inspired by a thoroughly well-researched book aptly titled Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness by Arielle Greenberg.

She defines fetishes in a way that is open to the vast experience of them, but is also very succinct: "one dictionary definition of sexual fetish is 'an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification.' ... fetishists can get a powerful kick from the mere existence, proximity, or mention of that object."

You've Got the Range

So you've realized you have a fetish... what do you do? In an ideal world, you'd have the perfect timing and conditions to test just how much you enjoy that fetish.

Do you like it only in very specific/particular situations? Can it be worn or done by any gender? Is it a specific material, style, or color that you prefer? And so many more questions you can trial and error yourself with because the point is not everyone enjoys their fetish in the same exact way.

Consider a foot fetish, there's a huge range of foot fetishists from people who just enjoy looking at and admiring gorgeous feet to people who enjoy engaging in sexual activities with the feet as a primary component. There's people on each end of the spectrum and of course a huge swath of different types of foot fetish people inbetween.