Here you can find the dictionaries for separate communities as well as the Better Sex Collective Dictionary as a whole.
The practice of restraining oneself from sex
Someone who regularly experiences romantic attraction to others
Someone who regularly experiences sexual attraction to others
Someone who does not experience romantic attraction or experiences romantic attraction on a spectrum that is less frequent or consistant than that of someone who is alloromantic
Someone who does not experience sexual attraction or experiences sexual attraction on a spectrum that is less frequent or consistentthan that of someone who is allosexual
Someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to people of any sex and gender
The obsessive idea that some aspect of one's body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.
Practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation [sensation (such as pressure, pain, warmth) which can occur anywhere in the body, in contrast to one localized at a sense organ (such as sight, balance, or taste)]
Someone who is/prefers to be on the receiving end of sex; usually more passive in sexual situations.
Limit of a subject or sphere of activity.
Someone who enjoys "misbehaving" with their Dominant. This behavior may present differently in different people; some may enjoy reinforcement of their power dynamics while others enjoy testing boundaries with their partners and of course everyone in between
Someone who disciplines disobedient subs either through funishment (something that will eventually be fun for the sub) or punishment (something of genuine consequence that is neither fun nor will be)
The practice of restraining oneself from sex and possibly marriage
Person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.
When your clitoris burns, stings or throbs because of injury, infection or damage to the area.
Thin, fitted tube worn over the penis or toy during sex (external condom) or inserted into the vagina or anus before sex (internal condom)
Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Remember FRIES, Consent should be: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific
The act of unprotected penile ejaculation inside the vagina or anus. When done in the vagina, the chance of pregnancy is very high (This exposes you to STD/STI's)
Child Sexual Abuse Material/Child Sexual Exploitation Material
Oral stimulation of the vagina and clitoris
A new way of decreasing your risk of getting bacterial STIs like Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis
Someone who is turned on by being consensually humiliated and degraded by their partner
Someone who uses consensual humiliation and degradation on their partner
Practice of training a submissive to obey a dominant and follow certain rules
Person who exercises control over their consensual submissive partner
Consent is not explicitly established with certainty prior to an activity. A term you may see when reading erotic writing
State of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life. Body dysphoria may be a feeling of unease or anxiety with how one's body looks
A sensitive area on the body that causes sexual arousal when touched intimately
A feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness
Someone open to trying different or new kinks
A person who feels a compulsion to display their genitals, intimate body parts, or perform sexually in public
The act of coming onto your partner's face (This exposes you to STD/STI's)
Oral stimulation of the penis
Genre of film developed by and for those dedicated to gender equality. It was created for the purpose of encouraging people in their pursuit of freedom through sexuality, equality, and pleasure
A person whose gender presentation is feminine but they are not necessarily a woman
A kind of kink where sexual desire is more focused around a particular object, activity, or body part other than the sexual organs
A set of emotionally and physically intimate acts between one or more people meant to create sexual arousal and desire for sexual activity
Fighting Online Sex Traffickers Act
A group of four people having sex together
A kiss involving the use of tongue(s)
Non-penetrative form of sexual activity that involves direct penis-to-penis contact by rubbing them together
Men, trans men, and nonbinary people who are exclusively sexually and/or romantically attracted to men
Someone who builds a relationship, trust, and emotional connection with a child or younger adult with the express purpose of manipulating, exploiting, and/or abusing them
Someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone of the opposite sex
Skin blemish, especially a mark caused by a lover biting or sucking the skin
Someone who is born with reproductive and/or sexual anatomy that doesn't fit the boxes of "female" or "male"
Exercise to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which support the uterus, bladder, small intestine, and rectum
Use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts, or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a bend in one's sexual behavior compared to straight/vanilla sex
Women, trans women, and nonbinary people who are exclusively sexually and/or romantically attracted to women
Sexual desire or drive
A person whose gender presentation is masculine but they are not necessarily a man
Tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one's own pain or humiliation
Stimulation of the genitals with the hand or another tool for sexual pleasure
Coined by Cliff Pervocracy in 2012 to describe an abuser or harasser who is tolerated in a community, even though their misdeeds are well known. The analogy is: a missing step is in a staircase, that everyone in the house avoids and generally tries to warn others about, but which no one actually assumes the responsibility for repairing
Sexual act of penetrating one or both of the inguinal canals (where the testes descend from during puberty) coined by Miranda "Mira" Bellwether in issue #0 of her zine Fucking Trans Women Oct 2010
Climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals, can be accompanied with physical ejaculation/squirting
The experience of normal ejaculation without pleasure or orgasm. You may experience sexual stimulation and arousal but the connection in the brain that registers these sensations as pleasurable is missing
Five or more consenting persons engaging in sexual intercourse in the same place over the same period of time
When genital contact goes from feeling pleasurable to feeling uncomfortable, numb, or even slightly painful. Usually occurs post-orgasm
A pattern of recurring sexually arousing mental imagery or behavior that involves unusual and especially socially unacceptable sexual practices. Common examples include pedophilia, zoophilia, and objectophilia
A condition that makes it difficult to retract the foreskin. Can be caused by skin conditions, infections, or injuries.
Someone who strictly prefers bottoming and/or being submissive during sexual activity. They rarely, if ever, are keen to switching places
Someone who is/prefers to be on the receiving end of sex; usually more assertive in sexual situations
A medicine that can help lower your chances of getting HIV from sex
An umbrella term denoting a sexual or gender identity that does not correspond to the established heterosexual norms of gender and sexualty.
The distribution of sexually explicit images or video of individuals without their permission
Someone who binds or physically restrains their partner with rope/chains/thread/etc.
Oral stimulation of the anus/rectum
Someone who enjoys being tied up or restrained by their partner or a rigger
Tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humilitation on others
A word that serves as a prearranged and unambiguous signal to end an activity. In the case of gagging, you and your partner should discuss using nonverbal safe signals to use like distinct hand signs or a 3 taps rule. Something easily identifiable and not likely to be confused with any other action or reaction
The experience of attraction to women relating to the Greek poet Sappho. Does not exclude attraction experienced by heterosexual women or genderqueer people; but is inclusive of lesbian, bisexual, asexual, trans women, and queer women
Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act
Someone who does like sex and is open to experiencing sexual activity
Someone who's feelings about sex are neither negative nor positive
Someone who does not like sex or the idea of any sexual activity
Sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim(s)
Behavior characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation
Act of criticizing or devaluing a person based on their sexual reputation (real or percieved) [from Getting It by Allison Moon]
Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral sex
The interest in having sex with a sleeping person. Unless discussed when both persons are sober and able to consent (see the consent and boundaries section located in The Explorer or on the Home page) this is sexual assault if committed.
Chemical, called nonoxynol-9, that kills sperm
Primarily for people who fall on spectrums of asexuality and/or aromanticism; the split attraction model is a descriptive way to show how they may experience other forms of attraction towards others. It can be helpful in understanding not only oneself better but also in communicating their experience of attraction to others as well
Someone who strictly prefers being in the same role during sexual activity. They rarely, if ever, are keen to switching places
Person who consensually gives over their rights, their desires, and/or themselves to another as a gift
Someone who enjoys being both dominant and/or submissive at times
A group of three people having sex together
Someone who is/prefers to be on the giving end of sex; usually more assertive in sexual situations
A person whose gender identity does not correspond with the sex registered for them at birth
Where two partners interlock their spread legs (like two pairs of scissors) and grind their vulvae together to stimulate each other's clitoris to orgasm
An involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles due to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration. You can get vaginismus even if you have previously enjoyed painless penetrative sex
Sexual behavior that is within the range of normality for a culture or subculture and typically involves sex which does not include elements bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadomasochism, kink, or fetishism
Someone who enjoys both topping and/or bottoming at times
A person who gains sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity
Chronic discomfort of the vulva of uncertain cause that is experienced as burning or shooting pain, stinging, or irritation
Most, if not all, definitions were achieved through a quick google or urban dictionary search and are meant to give the most general and all encompassing use of the term. When a word's definition is particularly inspired by someone else's knowledge I will do my best to credit them directly. If I have misinterpreted or misrepresented a term please let me know through the Contact Me form located at the top of this page and I will adjust the definition as soon as I reasonably can.
The experience of attraction to men relating to the Greek hero Achilles. Does not exclude attraction experienced by heterosexual men or genderqueer people; but is inclusive of gay, bisexual, asexual, trans men, and queer men
Someone who regularly experiences romantic attraction to others
Someone who regularly experiences sexual attraction to others
Someone who does not experience romantic attraction or experiences romantic attraction on a spectrum that is less frequent or consistent than that of someone who is alloromantic
Someone who does not experience sexual attraction or experiences sexual attraction on a spectrum that is less frequent or consistent than that of someone who is allosexual
Someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to more than one sex and gender
Someone who is/prefers to be on the receiving end of sex; usually more passive in sexual situations
Person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex
Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Remember FRIES, Consent should be: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific
Oral stimulation of the vagina and clitoris
Oral stimulation of the penis
A person whose gender presentation is feminine but they are not necessariliy a woman
Non-penetrative form of sexual activity that involves direct penis-to-penis contact by rubbing them together
Men, trans men, and nonbinary people who are exclusively sexually and/or romantically attracted to men
An orgy consisting of all women
Someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone of the opposite sex
Someone who is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't fit the boxes of "female" or "male"
Women, trans women, and nonbinary people who are exclusively sexually and/or romantically attracted to women
A person whose gender presentation is masculine but they are not necessarily a man
Sexual act of penetrating one or both of the inguinal canals (where the testes descend from during puberty) coined by Miranda "Mira" Bellwether in issue #0 of her zine Fucking Trans Women Oct 2010
Someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to people regardless of sex and/or gender
Someone who strictly prefers bottoming and/or being submissive during sexual activity. They rarely, if ever, are keen to switching places
Someone who is/prefers to be on the receiving end of sex; usually more assertive in sexual situations.
An umbrella term denoting a sexual or gender identity that does not correspond to the established heterosexual norms of gender and sexualty.
Oral stimulation the anus/rectum
The experience of attraction to women relating to the Greek poet Sappho. Does not exclude attraction experienced by heterosexual women or genderqueer people; but is inclusive of lesbian, bisexual, asexual, trans women, and queer women.
Someone who does like sex and is open to experiencing sexual activity
Someone who's feelings about sex are neither negative nor positive
Someone who does not like sex or the idea of any sexual activity
Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral sex
Primarily for people who fall on spectrums of asexuality and/or aromanticism; the split attraction model is a descriptive way to show how they may experience other forms of attraction towards others. It can be helpful in understanding not only oneself better but also in communicating their experience of attraction to others as well
Someone who strictly prefers topping and/or being dominant during sexual activity. They rarely, if ever, are keen to switching places
Someone who is/prefers to be on the giving end of sex; usually more assertive in sexual situations.
A person whose gender identity does not correspond with the sex registered for them at birth
Where two partners interlock their spread legs (like two pairs of scissors) and grind their vulvae together to stimulate each other's clitoris to orgasm
Someone who enjoys both topping and/or bottoming at times
A food, drink, or drug that stimulates sexual desire
Practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation [sensation (such as pressure, pain, warmth) which can occur anywhere in the body, in contrast to one localized at a sense organ (such as sight, balance, or taste)]
Someone who enjoys "misbehaving" with their Dominant. This behavior may present differently in different people; some may enjoy reinforcement of their power dynamics while others enjoy testings boundaries with their partners and of course everyone inbetween
Someone who disciplines disobedient subs either through funishment (something that will eventually be fun for the sub) or punishment (something of genuine consequence that is neither fun nor will be)
Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Remember FRIES, Consent should be: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific
Someone who is turned on by being consensually humiliated and degraded by their partner
Someone who uses consensual humiliation and degradation on their partner
Practice of training a submissive to obey a dominant and follow certain rules
Person who exercises control over their consensual submissive partner
Person who feels a compulsion to display their genitals, intimate body parts, or perform sexually in public.
Someone open to trying different or new kinks
A kind of kink where sexual desire is more focused around a particular object, activity, or body part other than the sexual organs
A boundary set in negotiations by either the Dominant and/or Submissive to indicate a limit that should not be crossed under any circumstances.
Hurt not harm is the idea that you can inflict consensual pain, but not inflict any lasting or serious physical or psychological damage
A kink in which one person is struck by another for the pleasure of either person or of both people
Use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts, or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a bend in one's sexual behavior compared to straight/vanilla sex
Tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one's own pain or humiliation
Someone who binds or physically restrains their partner with rope/chains/thread/etc
Someone who enjoys being tied up or restrained by their partner or a rigger
Tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others
A word serving as a prearranged and unambiguous signal to end an activity. In the case of gagging, you and your partner should discuss the use of nonverbal safe signals to use like distinct hand signs or a 3 taps rule. Something easily identifiable and not likely to be confused with any other action or reaction.
Activities and actions that help stimulate your five senses - touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste.
The temporary depression or general "off-balance" feeling is sometimes experienced by submissives after intense bdsm play. This can be short-lived, a delayed reaction, and/or last as long as a week. A Dominant/Top who wishes to have a long and sustainable relationship with their Submissive should take this situation seriously and responsibly help see your partner through this drop and make sure their Sub is safe, sane, and healthy.
Person who consensually gives over their rights, their desires, and/or themselves to another as a gift
A euphoric mental space the submissive enters when they completely trust their Dominant and immerse themself in a scene. They may not be capable of making rational decisions about their safety and well-being at this point
Someone who enjoys being both dominant and/or submissive at times
Sexual behavior that is within the range of normality for a culture or subculture and typically involves sex which doesn't include elements bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadomasochism, kink, fetishism
A person who gains sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity